WITHOUT ROMANCE, a woman loses interest in SEX.
WITHOUT SEX, a man loses interest in ROMANCE!
It’s not just about sex for men... They need to feel loved too....but if you don’t address the sexual issues, he’s less likely to notice the other things that you do for him.
A man needs to feel desired... that he still ‘does it for you.’
Sometimes, in the business of running a household, raising children, holding a job....it’s not always easy to feel sexy....and romantic....but, if you take the time to do the things that make you feel sexy, you will begin to want more of that intimate relationship with your man again.
DO YOU REMEMBER THE CHASE? how much fun it was....getting ready for the date? How good you felt when you were getting dressed, doing the make-up, feeling sexy and anticipating the date which just might end up in lovemaking?
DOING THE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU FEEL ROMANTIC AND SEXY is A GIFT YOU GIVE YOURSELF.
While a man does help a woman feel sexy by the way he talks to her and how he looks at her and how he touches her, she has some responsibility for doing the things for herself that make her feel sexy, too.
If you get more romance and he gets more sex, energy will come back into your love life. Before you know it, you’ll be wanting more sex and he’ll be wanting more romance.
HAVE YOU NOTICED that, when you go through a cycle of having sex more often, you start to feel sexier again?
Did you know that foreplay for a Man is about 3 minutes.....and for a Woman.....
Well, for a woman....it’s everything that happened in the last 24 hours.
So, what was happening in that last 24 hours before love-making when you were dating? Maybe it included a phone call where you
really listened to one another, a card or a note saying how much you care...or a quiet dinner....where you really listened to one another.....
YES, It IS possible to combine the physical love with the unconditional love of a committed relationship and feel passion again.
Here are some ideas for romance that you can use to get that passion moving again.
1. Put up one of those long banners on the front of your house that says: “World’s Best Husband Lives Here.”....just for one day. If you
think that is overkill, then how about a sign on the front door, when he comes home.
This tells him that you think you ‘got a good one.’ It WILL make him feel loved!
2. Tell him the 10 Reasons you would marry him again in a note that you place in a surprise place: his briefcase, on his pillow,
taped to the mirror or the T.V.
This goes a long way to fight the ‘taken for granted’ feelings.
3. Send him a text or an e-mail saying, “Hey, let’s get naked tonight.
4. Surprise him with new lingerie.....that he wouldn’t expect, when he least expects it....add the high heels....men really like that.
You probably won’t keep them on very long.
To him, it will tell him: You still desire him and want to seduce him. To you, it will make you feel sexy and get you in the mood.
You don’t have to look like Catherine Zeta Jones for him to WANT you!
5. Send a Fedex package to your husband/partner: at work ...with an invitation to join you for dinner and an overnight at a hotel.
That alone will probably surprise him just as much as it pleases him. Men pay attention to Fedex packages!
This is not the ‘obligatory romance.’ of the anniversary or the birthday. This is to show him that you want him....as in ‘WANT’ him.
6. Give him a card on your birthday, telling him he makes you glad you were born.
7. Put a note in his pocket when he leaves for work: I love you and I appreciate all that you do to provide for me (and our children).
8. Take the initiative and plan a date. Ask him out for a particular date ahead of time and take him to something or somewhere he
would truly enjoy, whether it’s taking him to a ball game, or going out dancing.
9. Buy him dozens of golf balls with something funny written on them. This should be something that will make people chuckle when
they find this marked balls on the course. You can order these over the Internet. Just look up logo golf balls.
Example: I have a friend who did this for her husband and had her husband’s photo and “If you find this, I got a bad kick.” printed on
If you feel like splurging .... buy him 12 dozen: they’re less expensive that way. This says that you want him to have some fun, apart
from you....and acknowledges that you know this is important to him. And this will remind him of you and how you ‘get’ him, when he
uses the balls.
10. Give him the gift of understanding. When you really don’t understand why his is doing something or why he said, something.....tell
him that you don’t understand....and listen to his answer.
This means a lot to a man: that you take the time to really know what is is saying, rather than jump to conclusions and analyze him.
11. Send him a letter via regular mail (US POSTAL SERVICE), where you tell him how much you appreciate all of the loving things he
does for you--things that you might have taken for granted:...such as providing for the family, taking care of the yard, fixing things,
making you feel protected....whatever he does in his role as provider and doer in the family.
12. Read to one another. This is a very intimate experience. It doesn’t have to be a lengthy reading at one sitting, but it makes your
mate feel cared for....like being tucked into bed at night.
13. Throw out the stained, torn or granny underwear. This is not only important for him....this is for you too. You will feel sexier.
14. Re-enact your first date. Take separate cars (if that’s what you did), eat at the same place if still possible, play at the same golf
course, go to the same movie theatre, etc. Start by asking him out for the date in the same way you would have the first time.
Pretend that you know nothing about him and ask those beginning questions again. You may even learn something new.
15. Buy him a gift certificate to Lowes or Home Depot.
16. Give him a survey with multiple choices or fill in the blanks, to determine his real preferences and to encourage communication.
This can be about his preferences in any area: romance, sex, vacations, etc.
Here’s a sample of the type of questions:
I really appreciate it when my wife _________________________________.
The best thing about our sexual life is_______________________________.
We’re a lucky couple because_____________________________________.
I wish my wife understood that ____________________________________,
I find the following to be the most romantic for me:
A candlelit dinner at home with music
Spending the day together exploring, holding hands, etc.
Dinner in a restaurant with atmosphere and conversation.
Going on a picnic to a secluded place.
17. Suggest that he invites some buddies over for a game. Many men need that fix, but won’t ask for it. You make the snacks for them
and then go do your own thing.
18. Send the kids for a sleepover and have a romantic dinner waiting. Surprise him with it.
19. Give him the gift of time: a Saturday off. He gets to do whatever he wants to all day and you’ll take care of everything else: no
20. Read the Venus and Mars books together. It will help you laugh at your differences and hopefully enjoy them more.
21. Offer to give him a massage.
22. Acknowledge his good decisions: don’t take them for granted
23. Suggest the use of a ‘save the complaints’ process. Any time one of you has a complaint about the other during the week, write it
down and put it in your own private place. At the end of the week, take it out and decide if you still feel it needs to be talked
about. You set aside a little time every week or so to discuss (when the atmosphere is calm and unhurried) to talk about the
One more important part: before you can communicate your complaint, you need to precede it with a statement of appreciation for
your partner. Taking turns, each complaint is heard fully before you move on to another.
This is great for avoiding a lot of heated moments and arguments and gives you time to think about things and resolve them calmly.
It can also lead you to be closer by the end of the discussion.
24. Suggest a ‘Shoot Em Up’ movie.
25. Text or e-mail in the middle of the day--saying ‘Meet me at 10PM tonight in the bedroom.’
26. Give him a “Get Out of the Doghouse Free” card for future use.
27. Plan a new activity for the two of you to try together: tennis lessons, photography class, etc.) , make the arrangements and
28. Give him a surprise birthday party a month before his birthday....and don’t wait for the ‘obligatory landmarks’ of 40,50, 60. Do it
when he would not expect it.
29. Fill Up the Car With Gas before he uses it. This WILL surprise him.
30. Surprise him at dinner: when you’re out for a nice dinner, excuse yourself to the ladies room and when you come back, hand your
panties to him under the table.
31. Freeze a couple of love notes in ice cubes and put them in his drink.
32. Buy or Make Matching Tee Shirts with a saying on them that is meaningful to both of you.
33. Write him a love letter telling him why you fell in love with him.
34. Show him respect by not criticizing him to girlfriends. This is not something you tell him you’re doing. He won’t know what
it is that changed, but it will give you a different attitude when you are with him and he will feel it.
35. Make a date to get together with a couple whose relationship you admire and find out why they think they do so well together.
They will feel honored and you will learn a lot.
36. Make Valentine’s Day an Annual Event: a real celebration day you take off from work every year and spend the entire day
together....whether it is in bed or visiting some place new....
37. Flirt with him in public: at a party or a friend’s house, for example..
38. Start the habit of telling him every night before you go to sleep....one thing you have appreciated about him that day.
39. Plan to go somewhere you’ve never been: day trip or vacation.
40. Give him the true gift: something he would love, but would not do or buy for himself.
41. Start foreplay 24 hours before the “event,” with flirting, notes, little gestures, etc.
42. Send him flowers at work with a sexy note on the envelope, such as: “I can’t wait for the next time.” The flowers will get noticed,
but the note will make him feel like the luckiest guy in his office.
43. Get married again, with a new set of vows that you write in your own everyday language, where you re-commit to one another in
the areas of your life that are important to you.
44. Call him at work, “Just to say I love you.” That’s all: no other requests or news.
45. Send him a birthday card for every year of his age: Send them all at once.
46. Buy him a ring, telling him you would like to marry him all over again.
47. Set aside time at the end of every work day to sit quietly--maybe have a glass of wine or cup of tea-- and tell one another about your
days. This goes a long, long way in keeping you close to one another and promotes much greater understanding between the
two of you.
48. Get Massages Together. There are many spas who offer this service.
49. Send him balloons at work for no reason at all.
50. Don’t forget to tell him: that he looks good, that he smells good....that he’s your guy.