Well, you know what it is to feel the chemistry of love, don't you?
And, you know something is missing when you don't feel it.
It feels magical, doesn't it? You can't predict it or know when it's coming or who will make you feel it. Of course, you have the conscious reasons for loving someone, but that does not explain the energy that flows through your body.
But really, what is this thing we call the chemistry of love? A nd why do most of us seem to need it to connect to a lover and a mate? It seems to me that love chemistry is such a powerful force that grabs us and propels us past our fears. Otherwise, intimacy might just be too scary for all of us.
Think about it: how often have you continued to see someone as a potential lover without this 'chemistry of love?" I know there are exceptions where a couple begins as friends and then become lovers later....but I don't think that is the norm.
This wonderful feeling that we call 'chemistry' even involves physiological changes. There is a body language of falling in love that you can feel and see in others. I 'm sure you've heard: "I feel like I've known her all of my life" or "it's so easy to talk to him."
Well...that's actually very real. You HAVE known someone with similar traits. It's precisely because of this 'hook'-- that love chemistry can reel you in. In addition to all of the conscious reasons to love someone, there are subconscious reasons that we are drawn to this person we're falling for.
The Chemistry of love is 'recognition.' There is something about this person that represents a dynamic from our childhood or past relationships. That is what we subconsciously recognize, without knowing that it's happening. There is a drive inside of us to get a
second chance. We want a do-over...a chance to make it come our right this time.
Every relationship that started with chemistry has the subconscious 'hook.' No one escapes it.
Take Matt and Suzanne for example. They had all of their conscious 'reasons to love someone,' but they also had the subconscious ones. They began with that wonderful love chemistry and 2 years down the road...the subconscious reasons that hooked them in...began to rise to the surface.
It turns out that Matt grew up with a very domineering mother and Suzanne's father abandoned the family when she was young. The combustion of their backgrounds meant that Matt felt like Suzanne was trying to control him...and would pull away from her, as a result. The more Matt pulled away, the more Suzanne tried to control him...for fear of losing him...and the more she fought for control...the farther away he went.
Matt and Suzanne began to understand that each was trying for a do-over--a chance to make their past come out right this time. It's becoming aware of these subconscious reasons for their actions...that they could begin to understand what they were doing. They stopped blaming one another when they realized that each one played a part in their struggles. And the more they resisted repeating Matt pulling away and Suzanne getting more controlling...they noticed that little by little, they were re-discovering the chemistry they once had.
Awareness of our subconscious hooks is the first step toward re-discovering the original love chemistry between you and your mate.
In the mean time, enjoy all of those feelings that the wonderful chemistry of love brings you: the eyes that sparkle, the pep in your step, the body language of falling in love and the way the world looks brighter and everyone seems nicer than before.
People, who know Gloria, credit her success to 30+ years of experience as psychologist and her natural gift for 'getting it' right away and coming up with practical advice and solutions.