Are You Afraid to be Happy?

Your first reaction might be:  Are you crazy; of course, I want to be happy.  Who doesn't?

Many people discover over time that happiness does not come from the next thing you 'get' or 'accomplish.'  You get the new car you've always wanted or the promotion you know you deserve and you're very happy, excited and usually very grateful.  Then it fades.....

Because happiness is a state of being you create inside you.  There are definitely ways to create that and keep it alive. You can learn how to inspire yourself.  

It's also important to understand what gets in the way of being happy?  What are some of the obstacles to being happy?

Fear of Happiness

After about 4 sessions of hypnotherapy, one of my clients came in saying in a whisper: “I feel happy.” …. As if she shouldn’t say it out loud….. It’s as if we don’t think we have the right to say that we’re happy…..or somehow if we do, it will go away…..

‘Well, this is great, but it won’t last.” Or “I don’t want to get too excited because it I will be more disappointed when it goes away?” “Why do I have the right to be happy when others are suffering?” “Isn’t declaring that I’m happy bragging or egotistical?”

Many people believe that feeling happy can only be a momentary thing at best: on our wedding day, when our child is born, when we land a new job.  We allow ourselves that much.

Not Living in the Present

When our minds are stuck in negativity, we are re-living our past over and over again....or we are anticipating a future that is only based on what we have already experienced.  Therefore that same past way of thinking just becomes your future way of thinking and nothing has changed.

You can only create a different future for yourself by living in the present, being open to a future you can imagine, but have not yet experienced.  For example, If you have the same negative thoughts about your spouse or partner, you are not open to seeing them in current reality--you are just reassuring yourself that you were right:  He is/she is what you expected, nothing is going to change in your mind so you expect the same thing over and over and that's what you get--the same thing.

Worrying About the Future

WE Humans are interesting creatures.  I've discovered that we think worrying about something going wrong will keep it from happening.  Worry keeps us in a state of fight or flight -- that phenomenon that keeps our bodies in a state of alert, just as if we're running from a tiger or bear.  This turns on all the stress signals in the body...which keeps other systems in the body from functioning to their full ability and/or creates disease (dis-ease) over time.  Some stress is necessary and not necessarily harmful, but making this your daily way of thinking can not allow happiness.

How do we lose happiness in the first place?

Happiness is actually our natural, unconditioned state of being. When we come into this life, we don’t doubt that we’re entitled to it; we don’t doubt that we deserve it…’s just the way we are.

Then thoughts and perceptions (sometimes misperceptions) about our experiences bury themselves in our subconscious minds and create false beliefs. Those beliefs begin to control our perceptions of ourselves and what is possible in the world. And our original, happy, joyful selves get buried under a cloud of fear and doubt.

To just ‘be happy’—we need to change those false beliefs that we’re selfish, egotistical or naïve. Being happy does not cause ‘bad things’ to happen. That’s just the conditioning of the conscious mind…the part of your mind that tries to keep the status quo.

What Not Try It Out — Being Happy?

Yes, you need to change that subconscious programming in your mind and that can be accomplished with hypnotherapy or meditation and repetition of the new imagined thoughts and feelings. But you can start by noticing how often your thoughts are limiting you. Have some fun with it. Take just one week, decide to start each day happy and notice how your fears of being happy are holding you back. 

Contact Me

Physical Location


Online Sessions





9:00 am-7:00 pm


9:00 am-6:00 pm


12:00 pm-7:00 pm


9:00 am-5:00 pm